i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
