she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
