Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
