make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
