they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
