I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
