We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
