We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
