My brain says no but my pants say off.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize