You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
