Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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