I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
