How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
