Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
