I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
