it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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