Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize