somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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