apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
