Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
