just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
3pm strippers are depressing
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
