"it" just moved
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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