god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
