I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was born a porn star she said
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
