Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
