@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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