Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
