Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
