I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
