Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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