Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So here I am, sexting at work.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize