I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
