Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
