and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
