If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
a search helicopter?!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
