Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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