And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
