the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
