I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize