I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
