i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize