I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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