Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
