and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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