she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize