Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
