I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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