This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
