There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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