physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
