I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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