Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
