i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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