Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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