What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize