I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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