UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
