She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
