mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize