hotel room ftw
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
