you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
