She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
