Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize