sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
