Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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