Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
